Posted by a friend of mine, I felt like I should share this. He posted a response by Kristin Kutcher to the above article.
“[Kristin’s] response is more clearly articulated than the original article, and is worth considering.
The short version is a person’s body(shape, height, or size) should not be the basis of how we judge their value. That includes others that we think are “too thin,” “too fat,” “too short,”
or too anything…
One only needs to peruse the first few comments on Felicia’s article to see her point(although poorly written) proven; there is far too much focus on people’s appearance.”
“I don’t usually post about serious things like this, but this one bothers me. I am a little afraid of people going ‘oh you’re just like her’ and but I think my friends are tactful and open-minded people-more so than the people commenting on the article that Felicia wrote.
I saw an article about this article, so I decided to read the actual article/blogpost/whatever it is that Felicia wrote for Cosmo. I think that we have a double standard in our society when it comes to what is tolerable and acceptable for how we comment on other people’s looks. Let me be clear that I think she could have worded this article differently to get a better response and to more effectively get her point across. However, I believe I understand the actual point she was trying to make, and the comments I read on the article raise a legitimate problem, and actually prove her perceptions of looks right.
Here is my first world problem that I’m never allowed to complain about because no one cares, and no one wants to hear it, and that is the double standard: It has become acceptable in our society for people to tell me I am skinny. My whole life, people have commented on my weight. It is actually really frustrating and makes me feel really uncomfortable. People seem to think it is okay to say things like ‘Well you don’t have to worry about that, because you’re skinny’ or ‘You can eat that, because you’re skinny’ and let us not forget the random greeting of ‘You’re so skinny!’
However, it would be totally unacceptable in our society to make those comments toward someone who is overweight. If you walked up to a person and said ‘You’re so fat!’ that would be considered a REALLY mean thing to say. There were times in my life when I saw no point in eating healthy or exercising because I was already too skinny, so why make that worse? I was skinny because of my metabolism, but I was not healthy, and no one actually cared about that. There have been times in my life where I would intentionally wait longer if I needed to use the bathroom after I was done eating because I was paranoid that people would think I had an eating disorder because people commented on my weight that much. I am certainly not the only person I know who has felt this way. It wasn’t until my friends
dubbed me ‘The Queen of Fat’ in high school and started calling me ‘Fatty’ that I actually accepted my body for what it was and was able to joke about it (Thanks, friends! For real! This made me embrace it and get over it and not worry about it because we could just joke about it)
I think that the purpose of Felicia’s article is really that everyone has their own insecurities about their body, and that most people don’t want to be treated a certain way just because of their looks. There are many women who read this post who will think back to a time when they did dress a certain way because they did not want to be hit on. I believe Felicia’s goal in writing this article was to point this out and make a statement about it and give it a voice. I think that Felicia could have worded much of this differently than she did, but I think a lot of the feedback she is getting is unfair, and actually goes to prove her point.
Why is it okay for some people to embrace their bodies and think they are pretty when for others, it is not? The backlash she is getting also shows that many people lack empathy and are tactless on the internet, and that makes them come off as mean people, which is far worse than anything anyone is accusing her of. I’d rather be falsely accused of being vain than being a mean person.